This afternoon, Lily found a photograph of an Elsa dress while we were flipping through magazines and making collages. She asked me to cut it out and then told me to follow her into my sewing room because she was going to show me how to make her an Elsa dress just like it.
She chose fabric out of my box, although not exactly the same as in the photo she agreed it would be good for the dress. So I tried to sew something and ended up with a very simple dress that she initially loved and I was pretty happy with. Like, she put it on and jumped into my arms yelling "Oh I love you mama!"
Fast forward twenty minutes to when she decided she didn't like how long it was, she didn't like the way it was made, and it wasn't Elsa-y enough. Just an overall fail, really.
She says, let's go to grandma's house Mama and we can show her what's going on with my Elsa dress. She can fix it.
She says, you didn't do it very well. You only do slings well, Mama.
And I'm going to be honest and tell you those words stung a little. I did my best, I really tried. And it wasn't that she had done something wrong by disliking it - it was just that I hadn't quite lived up to what she wanted or perfected what she envisioned.
But that's parenthood, isn't it? These babies who used to love every. single. thing. you do -- they grow up into big kids, teenagers, adults with their own opinions and tastes and ideas and plans. And it all stings a little bit. But it's just life, I suppose. Our kids realizing we are imperfect is just something that happens as they grow and it's just an all-around bummer to be reminded of our shortcomings (but at least I can point her to a God who is perfect, who will never let her down).
Really, the moral of all of this as best as I can figure is: be nice to your Mama. She's doing her best. I hope next time I'm being critical of my own mother I'll have a little more grace and remember how much motherhood aches sometimes. I don't know much else or have any other wisdom to write out in this mushy stream of words, but I do know that.
So go give your mom a hug or buy her some flowers and tell her you love her, no matter how hard that might be.