Dear Lily,

Dear Lily,

Thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me hold you.

          Thank you for being comforted by me. 

     It has been a rough two weeks. This move has been hard. Life has been so hectic. We are trying to form routines and make friends and figure out where to go, and you have been so sweet through it all. You are my little adventurer. You are growing so fast, wanting me to help you walk everywhere. And I have been easily frustrated and overwhelmed. Sometimes I forget that it's hard to be a baby--but you aren't even a baby anymore, are you? Is it okay to call you a toddler? You are so grown up. You want to be on the go all the time, you never want to be held or cuddled anymore. But this mama's heart yearns for times like these. The sound of the trains going by are like waves, your tiny breaths are like little drops of rain. I am so comforted, so at peace right now. 

     Thank you for falling asleep in my arms. Not being nursed to sleep, not being wrapped in the sling, not in the stroller, just me. Thank you for letting me be enough for you. It's embarrassing to admit that sometimes I don't feel like I am doing an okay job of being your mother. Thank you for reminding me that I am. 

     These sweet moments are what I cling to. 

I love you so.